It is ten thirty at night and something is prompting me to post. It might be procrastination, it might be inspiration, it might be consternation. It might be all three?! Blogging is a difficult thing to maintain and hey, maybe it is my new year's resolution a month early? I am writing and wondering why. Consider this a free write session, might help with the lack of cohesiveness.

So much happens in a given day, a given week, a given month, a given year. It never ceases to amaze me. I wake up, I know not, I end the day,and I know. Sometimes I know too much. The other evening a meal was prepared, we were ready to put it on our plates and an unexpected guest turned the evening upside down and all around and we still have yet to straighten out from that night. You could pray for the guest!

The week before Thanksgiving I had no plans. No turkey no nothing. However, there was no fret. This happens every year and God has spoken clearly to me about it. "Lynne, let me plan the meal, just put one foot in front of the other and when it is all done you can look back and see what took place." Wednesday afternoon the plans were finalized, we were heading to Tom's River a town next to Seaside Heights. Seaside Height is where the devastating pics from Hurricane Sandy originate.

What an amazing Thanksgiving helping a church from New Holland serve take out meals. We were connected with the Church of the Nazarene of New Holland through the First Baptist Church in Tom's River. Life is stranger than fiction, no doubt! As our family, with coffee in the back, was heading over the bridge to the barrier island with state police permission, we were in shook at the bizarre privilege. To witness the destruction that many of the locals have only witnessed via television was sobering- tag we're it! We have a responsibility now.

Thanksgiving evening was warmly spent at our dear friends' home with the next day
welcoming my parents from Rhode Island. Saturday was a blast celebrating our son in law's thirtieth birthday at their home filled with people who loved RJ!

Life is amazing, life is full and God help me to appreciate the unexpected happenings that I can expect!

An Update of the Meeting with the State Senator

Dear Senator Dinniman,


It was a pleasure to talk of educational matters with you on Thursday, April 26. Thank you for the invitation. Where this might lead one can only imagine. The sky is the limit as well as, unfortunately, human biases and myopic ways. Let's hope for the best.

Our discussion was energizing and engaging. We talked of how homeschooling, by example, could serve a broader purpose in helping to scale back the waste often experienced during the later part of one's high school career, specifically, in the public schools. Personally, I am excited and honored to be about this endeavor.

You suggest a discussion between homeschool educators and bipartisan legislators with the hope that there might be an exchange of ideas to better the public school sector. When it comes to issues dealing with education, I believe connecting, networking, and engaging in discussions furthering our common goals serve a more worthy pursuit than trying to maintain our personal territories.

In light of your suggestion, I will begin pursuing homeschool educators to share their high school home school experience with bipartisan legislators whom you will gather. I will be seeking home educators who have the broad view and desire to benefit the larger educational community. You will coordinate the scheduling of the meeting sometime in November 2012. This is purposefully after the elections to avoid political utterances motivated more for a vote than true reform (to paraphrase your sentiments).

You have asked me to call your office in July or August to schedule a time to meet with you and the group of home school educators. At this meeting we will discuss and prepare for our meeting with the bipartisan group of legislators. This will be a brainstorm session to discuss the a la carte options we currently use in educating our home school high schoolers.

The irony is that while most educational entities are requesting face time with legislators to request funds, and more funds, you are offering us face time with legislators to share our shoestring a la carte methods. Thank you for this opportunity.

Our children's education is dependent upon parental involvement rather than on funding. This fact stands strong regardless of whether your child is home-schooled or attends a public school, private school, or charter school.

I thought you might find this to be of interest. Currently the Home School Legal Defense Association is most concerned with a bill named: House Bill 2317. You can find more information on this bill from http://www.hslda.org/cms/index.php?q=bill/house-bill-2317-revises-pennsylvanias-home-education-statute.

Elliot Ko, Legal Assistant to Dewitt T. Black, III, Esq, is a man with whom I’ve been in contact from the Home School Legal Defense Association. He writes, "Pennsylvania has what is probably the 2nd toughest homeschool law in the country (after New York). Studies, however, show that homeschoolers perform equally well in states with low regulation as they do in states with high regulation. (See, e.g., http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/200908100.asp.) In many ways, therefore, Pennsylvania’s homeschool law is really “behind the times,” if you will, and we would really like to see it improved. (You can compare Pennsylvania’s homeschool requirements to other states’ homeschool requirements at http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp.) House Bill 2317 would be at least one step in the right direction.”

Thank you also for looking into the difficulties your home school families in the West Chester School District are experiencing with enrolling their homes school students in technical schools such as CAT. In the Chester and Berks’ school districts many homeschoolers are allowed to enroll in technical schools as homeschoolers. It seems in West Chester there are some educators who only want this to be available to public school students. This proves that not only money but sound thinking is scarce these days. I appreciate your willingness to look into this situation. I pray for the families involved that the tide will change.

Blessings on your week and sometime in mid June , as you suggest, I will call to schedule another conversation. I am hoping to surround your round table with good folk.

Sincerely,
Lynne T. Burkholder
Wife of one great man,
Mother of six wonderful children,
Lover of learning,
Seeker of truth and always a great dialogue...

Can't Beat it! The Passing of Time...

What do I do when I have a Saturday night all to myself. Do I sit and stare? Do I work on a project, I have none. Do I try to write, I'm doing that now. Do I call a friend, that is what I have done many times. What should I do? Read my bible, that would be a good endeavor.


Next week is a week that will take extreme planning and organization. I will do well next week. I will make lists, I will organize, I will execute, I will even eat well. The week after will be a different story. It will be the crash zone.


Tonight is a gift I did not know about. Lynn and I might have been able to plan accordingly had I known. But who I am fooling? Lynn and I are not good planners. Besides which we are not creative enough to know what to do with five bucks (the kids have the other five) between us. Ok, let me rephrase that, we are too lazy.


You can tell what I decided to do. I can tell what Lynn decided to do by the sound coming from the garage. He is roasting coffee.He puts me to shame. It is only nine forty six and I might even have time to make some lists, pick up another book and read that till page ten to follow suit with all the other half read books floating around the house.


The next week will be the downer. If it was just myself that is one thing but I have children asking me for food. It really can bring a girl down, so many people in this house dependent on me for their sustenance.

I have never been the stellar time manager. Any time I have listened to a time management seminar my insomnia ends with a blink of an eye that stays blinked. Who are these people who are organized and manage seconds as if handling a bomb? Where do they come from? There has to be a space ship out in some deserted field that beams them back up to their organized planets. They really don't seem human or even interested in sharing the dynamic human experience.

So tonight I have many options before me; long overdue thank you notes, emails, phone calls, coffee work, bible study, reading etc.

But where are you???? Why don't you come over!

Wheeling and Dealing

We are searching for a, relatively speaking, new car. Currently you might see us driving an old olds. Or you might see us in the Jackin's van, the one with purple flames near the headlights. (Brian has asked me to respect those flames-I shall say no more). Perhaps you might see us in a baby blue van with one of the sides looking rather dented. I see it in your eyes though when you wave to me. Actually I hear you, “what is she driving NOW?”

We were in pursuit on Tuesday. We headed up to Lansdale to look at an Honda Civic. Lynn,with eyes on the road, says to me, “You know how you experience insecurities when you take on sewing projects?” I connect immediately. I never take on sewing projects because of the sweats. I am wondering where he is going with this, actually kinda scared.

“I am terrified of buying a car. I think of your Dad and your brother and their nice cars and I just don't know how to navigate this process.” My insides are in a puddle and all of a sudden I know this is an “Ishmael” drive. We are not going to find our “Issac” car.

The car lot was behind an old dilapidated building down a subdued alley. As we pulled in I said, “No,” “Don't you want to at least get out and look?” “Frankly, no. I don't.” I did get out and look only to point to the hood where the white didn't match the white and to each spot I uttered, “No, no, no, and no.”

The next day we were driving to rendezvous with a woman and a Grand Caravan. It sat pretty in Walmart's parking lot late Tuesday evening with a For Sale sign on the back. As we were driving to see this car we spiritualized our experience a bit. Oh,we pontificated, we just needed to rest. We traveled an hour to see a dud and here we were only a spit away from the car that we “sense” is the right one. The Lord is good.

The Grand Caravan was not so grand. How could we spiritualize this? We didn't attempt.

The Lord is still good. Thank goodness.

Birthday wish for a friend turning fifty! How did I get here?

As you embark on your next fifty years, just a bit daunting, may you feel the significance of each moment, may it not be wasted on frustrations of the past or expectations of the future. May you increase in your gratitude of the simple things of life. May you spend time with your growing children and never see it as a waste. May you deal with honesty in your reflections of yourself. May you strive for the TRUTH and seek it out as you would gold or silver not resting content until true treasure is found. May you not rest with the thoughts that hound but figure out why the hounding and then rest. May you see your husband as he should be seen and may you love him more than you did the day you married him. May you watch the changing of the seasons as child plays with a new enchanted toy. May you say yes to tea with a friend though your schedule says no. May you not waste time on idle friendships where the talk is focused on self gratification. May you see the evil and run to the GOOD.

May you know what cause should require your all. May you see the green, the blues, the purples, the reds in creation and marvel with a marvel that leaves you pondering depth.

Expectations are so disappointing!

This morning I was inspired to start the morning off with a breakfast together, read the missionary autiobiography we are working on, memorize scripture, maybe sing some songs, share prayer requests. The morning would fortify us better than any cereal could do.

It didn't happen, again.

My kids literally roll their eyes, remark how this kinda thing doesn't fly with us (please don't say that out in public children, we want them to think it does) and they encourage me with “But it's ok mom.”

ARGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Remember, this is my second set of children. The first set said the very same thing. So rude!

I begin to wonder if I have any clout around here?

Can you imagine a school teacher listening to this kind of talk? Go to the principal.

As you can see by the picture I provided, this is how the table looked. We did manage to eek out something but it had nothing to do with my expectations-Again.

One Never Knows

Community HomeSchool Learning Group Singing at the Christmas program led by Bridget Griffith

Robyn, my daughter who works at the Daily Local in West Chester, called and asked me to find a homeschool mom with a title to be a panelist. The Daily Local was sponsoring a panel discussion on the State of Education in Pennsylvania and the facilitator wanted a representative from the home school community. It was not going to be me. I don't have a title and furthermore I disdain titles. This is not necessarily because of humility, sometimes just because I am plain lazy and sometimes because I am rift with fear.

Some of those I asked were unavailable, some were uninterested, and some were nervous. It was going to be me, the title less one. So,I spent a bit of time researching, inquired about talking points from the Home School Legal Defense, received amazing statistics the day before from College@Home (how did they know?) and attended the discussion on a Thursday evening.

They put me at the end of the table in front of a cardboard teepee titled Home School Parent Lynne Burkholder. The other seven men in suits filled the other chairs along the row of tables. Their cardboard teepees were way more impressive. There was a man on the school board at Coatesville, a state representative lobbying for Charter Schools, a President of a local cyber school and other assorted individuals invovled with education.

State Funding was the topic of the evening with many members of the audience asking pertinent questions. Eric, the educational correspondent from the Daily Lcoal who was faciltating the discussion felt the need to pull me into the discussion. Though during the break I tried to assure him I was fine and I had no need to talk. Can you believe that?

“Lynne, does state funding affect homeschooling?”

This was my moment, it was the one chance to share some home schooling insights. I pushed myself to the front of my chair, leaned forward into the mike and gave my insights, “No, not at all.” I pushed myself back into my chair and scanned the crowd. And I am one to pride myself with thinking on my feet. That's the best I could do! My lack of words spoke volumes.

That night and my famous phrase gave me a clear perspective on home schooling that will give me the strength to continue with this upstream swim. We, as homeschoolers, are not a burden on any school district. We are not even affected by mandates or state funding. Rather we are part of a movement over 2,000,000 million strong. Our educational background, our income, our money alloted to homeschool curriculum does not affect the higher test scores our children receive.

One of the panelists was late, Senator Dinnimon. He is a smiling politician, a favorite of West Chester and as he entered the room he was apologizing making his way to the front. He sat two seats down from me and during the intermission introduced himself. He wondered what I did. “I am a home school mom.”

He lit up, he loves homeschooling. “Don't you think that the school districts should make available their curriculum to homeschoolers?” His interest was curious to me and something in me woke. Yes, yes, all the school districts' resources should be available to the taxpayers who homeschool. Next thing I know he is asking me to trade business cards. Thankfully I had mine.

One never knows in life where you will be led. On April 26th, Senator Dinninmon's secretary has scheduled an appointment for us to talk. Interesting.

Will you please keep me in your prayers?

Jeane Miller and Erin Robbins: Quite the Combo!

There are two women I would enjoy having you meet. Though retreats are not one of my favorite past times I would orchestrate one in which Jeane Miller and Erin Robbins were the guest speakers. I know it would be hard for me to convince them.

They are renegade women who have so much to offer and have no desire to package themselves for a weekend. They crave the slice of life that is rarely sought after; authenticity. Doing retreats just ain't their thing and for this I love them.

These two women live amazing lives, strive for extreme honesty, are two of the seven women (the others being Robyn, Kathryn, Nicky Sue, Rachel and Melissa) in my life who make me howl with laughter (not pain) and love Jesus with a passion hard to find.

Jeane Miller came out of nowhere and we became fast friends who never get together. Erin Robbins, I knew her since infancy and to this day there is a bond that pulls us tighter yet I never see her either.

Jeane and Erin do not know each other from Adam (what does that phrase mean?). When they meet they might be too much alike to get along. Oh, but the two of them together would make me very happy and sometimes that is all that matters!

Erin does not do facebook, would not consider facebook, probably abhors blogging but would make our lives richer as a blogger and a facebook friend. Jeane Miller is back on facebook having left it for a while and we are the much better for her return. Who needs reruns of Lucille Ball with Jeane's facebook and blogging!

I can direct you to Jeane's blog:http://thecoffeecottage.blogspot.com/2012/04/heart-lifting-mirth.html

I can also give you a taste of what you will find on her Facebook page:

"It's been about three weeks since we sent the third born's beloved Nuk up into the wild blue yonder. It's been three weeks of subversive looks and finding the twin's Nuks under her pillow or beneath her blanket during quiet time. However, today she took her obsession with the forbidden to a whole new level. As I was helping her adjust her leggings from behind, I noticed a strange protrusion in the lower "seat" of her pants. Sure enough, wedged in her little crack was Johnny's pacifier. All I can say is "Good Luck Future TSA Workers!!!!"

You might come away from Jeane's blog with more info than you bargained for but you will come away with a bargain. Erin needs encouragement to start a blog and enter the world of facebook. This probably is not going to happen...truly our loss.

You will be the first to know about the Erin/Jeane Retreat. I have yet to decide the theme, probably will not be a theme, can not imagine restricting these two. Not sure about the date, Erin now lives in Italy and a weekend away for Jeane with five children, under the age of five, probably is too optimistic.

But do keep posted! This would kick retreats into a new category! You would not want to miss Jeane and Erin's Retreat!

They are gonna kill me!

Halley's Comment

The time was soon coming to a close, I was cruising to be finished by Saturday before 2012 arrived. Finally, the last few words were read and for the first time in my forty-nine years of breath, I could say, I had read through the entire Bible.

Is this not sad or what? It is totally pathetic, nothing impressive about this accomplished goal. The number of books I have read over the years is into the hundreds. Some of the books were finished in a day, some in a week, many in less than a week. But I could not get my self to read the Bible through.

The Pocket Bible Handbook by Halley, was part of my parent's library. Now in my home, one day it grabbed me. It is a small blue covered bound book in its 19th edition, copyright 1951. The first edition was in 1924 and there are more recent editions.

Here is some of what Halley wrote in his foreword. “This book has been a growth. It was started in 1924, as a 16-page leaflet. Next it was 32 pages....Now 768. This Handbook is dedicated to the proposition that Every Christian should be a constant and devoted reader of the Bible; and that the primary business of the Church and Ministry is to lead, foster, and encourage their people in the habit.”

Halley has a bible reading plan that I used this year. He sees this as a minimal effort to extend for getting the Bible read in one year. He notes that George Muller read it four times through in a year. Good job, George! I am just glad for one time through. Maybe this year two?!

Thought you might like to see it....

Week 1-Genesis
Week 2- Matthew
Week 3-Exodus
Week 4-Mark
Week 5-Leviticus
Week 6-Luke
Week 7-Numbers
Week 8-Luke
Week 9-Deuteronomy
Week 10-John
Week 11- Joshua, Judges
Week 12- Acts
Week 13- Ruth, 1 Samuel
Week 14- Romans
Week 15-II Samuel
Week 16-1 & 11 Corinthians
Week 17-1 Kings
Week 18- Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians
Week 19- 11 Kings
Week 20-1 & 11 Thessalonians, 1 & 11 Timothy, Titus, Philemon
Week 21- 1 Chronicles
Week 22- Hebrew, James
Week 23- 11 Chronicles
Week 24- 1 & 11 Peter, 1 & 11 & 111 John, Jude
Week 25- Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther
Week 26-Revelation
Week 27-Job
Week 28-Matthew
Week 29-Psalms
Week 30-Matthew, or John
Week 31-Psalms
Week 32-Mark
Week 33-Psalms
Week 34-Luke
Week 35-Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon
Week 36-John
Week 37-Isaiah
Week 38-Acts
Week 39-Isaiah
Week 40-Romans
Week 41-Jeremiah
Week 42-1 &11 Corinthians
Week 43-Jeremiah, Lamentations
Week 44-Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians
Week 45-Ezekiel
Week 46-1 & 11 Thessalonians, 1 &11 Timothy, Titus, Philemon
Week 47-Daniel
Week 48- Hebrews, James
Week 49-Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah
Week 50-1 & 11 Peter, 1 & 11 & 111 John, Jude
Week 51-Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi
Week 52-Revelation

Napoleon- “The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a power that conquers all that oppose it.”

Children Taking Over- Love It!

The renovation of Lynn and Lynne undertaken by the children of Lynn and Lynne is happening as I write. The drone of the sander on the “Viewing Room” floor (ok, televison room! But I hate the sound of that) is the best sound ever. Kathryn our third child has had it and is taking things under control. Enough is enough she feels.

Unfortunately, Lynn and I are able to live with half done projects, stellar, aye? I remember well visiting a certain relative whose house was NEVER finished. My parents would comment on the drive home. I can only imagine the talking all the way back to Rhode Island after a visit with their daughter.

Our daughters pulled together a 25th celebration asking for Lowe's gift cards with this day in mind. What a wonderful gift! Kathryn is the project manager with advisers to her left and to her right. Her Christmas break has been breaking her back for her family. It is the gift of a lifetime.

Here are some pictures showing the process. The young man on the piano is Tyler Patchel who helped with removing stubborn kitchen tile. The young woman is Katie Schwartz who gave some significant hours to the project. Christopher, our son is working on cutting down shelves for the new spot in the Viewing Room ( I do like the sound of that)!

My biggest fear is that I will wake up!

Hopes, Dreams and Wants for 2012

This has to be one of my favorite times of the year, the week between Christmas and New Years. It is for me contemplative, reflective, full of promise and is the sunlight not exquisite?

During this week, every year, I think back over the past year and think about what I want to do different this year. I will give you a peek into my hopes ,dreams and wants for the year 2012.

I want, hope and dream that:
-every day is appreciated for the privilege of living it. (this shows up in every single journal I have ever written-I am a broken record)
-I will actually harvest all that I grow and not think that gardening is just planting.
-I will be more active physically (I find myself more sedantary of late)
-I will read through the Bible again with the Halley method (Week one-Gen, Week Two-Matthew, Week three- Exodus, Week Four-Mark etc.)
-I will surround myself with more diversity than less.
-I will continue to break out of the ordinary
-I will run through the paper dragons in my life.
-I will be better with Thank you notes (oh,this really can get me down)
-I will put myself out on more limbs than not.
-I will not rest content with fake contentment.
-I will watch more movies.
-I will do the perfect picnic this year in the perfect place at the perfect time.
-I will listen better to God's direction
-I will follow closer to God's lead
-The body of Christ will experience unity in the area in which I live
-my children hear God's voice clearer.
-I will depend on God for everything, everything
-I will have nothing to do with idolatry
-I will have eternity on my mind at all times.
-I will keep my house clutter free.
-I do the spontaneous with my children consistently
-I make more festivals for our family
-Valentine's Day is celebrated with more alacrity than ever in our family.
-that Lynn and I can have time just for ourselves (this is so hard because we LOVE being with all of our children, but I do want to get to Italy to see
Erin and Peter and Henry and Sadie)
- that all our children understand the significance of small events and time spent with dear ones
-our children see church as it really is
-God continues to connect me with people who vision big
-I can focus and not be distracted by distractions
-our five businesses flourish so that others may benefit greatly
-all our bills are paid and house paid off to give God the glory.
-that those we are surrounded by understand the need to glorify God in unity.
-that I see more and more of Him
-that I can organize my thoughts to write at least one book.
- I have more mercy for others than not
-that I desire to stand corrected and not get defensive
-that I teach my children well.

Hey, when you think, of it would you pray for me and my family. We would appreciate that! May your year be filled with unexpected moments where you simply relish His presence and His amazing ability to love you despite you!

If You Don't Know Me Yet- You Might Want To Keep it That Way-Might Be Safer For You!

If you do not know me, now is probably not the time to get to know me. I am in a bad way. It is not that I am changing, it is that I am feeling freer to share my true feelings. I have always been opionated but of late it is as if I am urged, pushed, persuaded to share freely and openly. However, there is really nothing new going on in my brain but rather a more firm resolve.

In fact I marvel at the consistency of my thoughts that have traveled with me, cognitively, for over forty years. Some of you may be chuckling if you know me. “Lynne, consistent? Ha! That will be the day.” I get this backlash from sharing my stream of consciousness. I would not suggest this modus operandi which I have operated in during my entire life.

Babies do this well, the stream of consciousness. They scream, cry, coo for exactly that moment, knowing exactly what they want. Others might be confused but babies are not confused just misunderstood. My husband pointed out to me this tendency of mine, my inordinate amount of words and spilling of my feelings on the spot. This helped me to understand the source of all the ammo coming at me from acquaintances, friends and family. It all spirals back to me, me, me! Sometimes I want to yell, “DO YOU NOT CHANGE????? OR ARE YOU JUST TOO SCARED TO GIVE ME YOUR CONSTANT CHANGING THOUGHTS???? WHY DON'T YOU GIVE IT A TRY AND WATCH ME ALLOW YOU TO CHANGE YOUR MIND!”

As a little girl I could not understand the lack of honesty from adults. I watched adults pretend and was puzzled by this. Why pretend? Are we not all in this together? Why the need to make others think differently about your situation, your background, or you? Guess what? I still do not get it! Again, my husband has navigated me through this quandry and has helped me tremendously with understanding decorum, the good kind. Though I do want to yell, “WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOUR SECRET? DO YOU THINK I WILL LIKE YOU LESS? I WILL ALWAYS LIKE YOU MORE WHEN YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH!!!!”

And why are we so secretive about our incomes? As a child I never understood that. What was the pressing need behind this? Again, are we not all in this together? Well, though we are all in this together (especially the Body of Christ) apparently that reality is not necessarily recognized. I tell people all the time we are financially hand to mouth. This is definitely, by some, not received without a tense, constipated pity face. I want to scream, “I AM NOT THE SOURCE OF THE INCOME, YOU ARE NOT THE SOURCE OF YOUR INCOME. WE ARE TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE. THIS IS NOT MY SOURCE OF SECURITY!!!!!” Thank goodness my income is not a source of my security, I would be sunk.

Well, I better stop. I am just working myself up into a blithering, blubbering Critical-Clara-Chick, and who likes them type of folks? My life has been one of restraint. I do think on my toes and this gets me into tons of trouble and most of what I do is try keep in all the thoughts. You are incredulous with that last statement, for those who know me,. “Lynne, keeps in thoughts? Really?!” Now that ticks me off and makes me howl, “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HOLD IN. BUT WHY DON'T YOU START SHARING HONESTLY WITH ME AND WE CAN GET IT ALL WORKED OUT !

So, these days, of late, are just bare, raw, sharp, and sometimes downright dangerous for you to be around me. That is if you like pretense, facades, the psuedo christian life, seminars, church programs, maintaining “the look,” and not asking God to lead you.
Otherwise, I am game for hanging with you and even debating issues. Nearing fifty has given me a sense of boldness, what the heck, it should. I have lived half a century, it is time!

UnFinished Projects- Back Off!

It has been too long since I have posted on this blog site. Who started this site anyway? There are so many things in my life that I have started and clearly not finished. Some of the unfinished projects are exactly as they should be, for instance, my life.

My life started on May 8, 1962 and I am not near completing it. In fact I have a goal of 120 years,though I am not in control of the timing and one never knows. However,it is amazing to think that almost fifty of those years have been completed. But my life is not mine to complete. There is an author and a finisher of my life/faith and I am not it.

There are some other projects that are still in the works- my children.

All of my children are still in process. All six of them are uncompleted projects. Their life mysteriously was not started with me and mysteriously will not be finished by me. The urge to finish a project needs to be rejected when it comes to people. I can assist in the project but I am not the project manager, the finisher.

Do we think about this enough? Do we shudder at the thought of our urge to finish “people projects?” Do we respect even our own children knowing that they are managed by a project manager more concerned with their finished result than we would be? We are to pray for their development, to assist the manager, to respect their project, to be side-liners with a sense of awe.

I need to back off from the unfinished projects surrounding my life.

What to do?

News From Around The World

I decided to post (with the permission of the writer)an email sent by a friend to her friends. I am honored to be one of them. If ever I could be anyone else I would choose this person. She rocks. She and her husband are teaching in a foreign land. They are not missionaries by title, and that is what I think is so awesome. They do not need the title.

As we read the news our minds our swirling and wondering what the implications will be for Egypt, Libyia, Tunisia etc. So I am posting her reflections, insider scoop. For those of you who know me well, you will know who is writing.

Hi everyone!

It was time for my yearly trek to the Malaysian jungle with 70 eighth
graders. This year I went to a different location and thoroughly
enjoyed the life on a jungle island. The group of kids I was with was
amazing. They took every opportunity to fully experience all the
jungle had to offer, from food to bugs. I even got a chance to brush
off my blow-dart skills. We were aiming at a large fruit hanging from
a long stem and I hit the stem! My students thought it was amazing
but it was pure luck.

Since I’ve been back, we have watched a wave of revolution in the
region. One of the students on our trip was from Tunisia and she was
so excited about the freedom beginning in her country. Others in our
school are from Egypt and again, they can’t even believe that they
have the right to say what they really feel. We are all hoping that
this region will birth its own true democracy, one of freedom AND
justice. There is a long way to go. What is unusual about Qatar is
that, even though it is a monarchy, it has low corruption
(comparatively speaking) and the most freedom of the press in the
region. The network Al Jazeera is based here in Doha and has been
covering every gritty detail of all the protests, which has earned it
the right to be banned by most of the vulnerable countries.

Because Egypt is getting itself together, E. and K. are running
cross-country races in Abu Dhabi this weekend instead of Cairo.
H. and S. are in Kuwait for baseball, so hopefully everything
will stay calm there. It sounds crazy, but probably no worse than
having an event planned in Madison, Wisconsin this weekend. (Just
kidding).

My apologies to my friends who support teachers’ unions, but I wanted
to go to Madison with a video camera in one hand and a sign that
reads, “I’m a great teacher and I don’t need a union” in the other. I
know that there once was a need for unions, but after sitting on a
school board with my hands tied by the teachers unions, I just cannot
support them. Our best teachers could not even get the same raises as
the mediocre teachers if the union wanted to “reward” a certain age
group. Most teachers don’t know that the unions are the ones who
divide up the raises, not the school board or administration. If the
union wanted, they could give 10% raises to one group and 1% to
another, arbitrarily. Now our district is furloughing teachers, not
based on their performance, but based on being the most recent hires.
In other words, we have to let go of some of our best teachers. How
is that fair? Whatever happened to the steel industry in Pittsburgh
and the auto industry in Detroit? Seems to me that if there was ever
a test of the effectiveness of unions on the economy, Detroit should
be the poster child for greatness.

Okay, I know you want me to stop beating around the bush and tell you
how I really feel. Sorry about that. I can’t help it.


Thanks for reading and keep me posted on your happenings anytime!!!

Take care,

R.

Geoff's Adventure

Some of you following the new adventure that Geoff is on might be interested in the news from the Twin Valley Scene.

I don't know, would you worry if he was telling you he did not need to bring home his backpack because he finished his work at school? :|
I'm just saying it is a tad unnerving. This kid comes home whistling dixie. He can not believe how much easier it is compared to the assignments I give him. This either makes me swell with pride or insecurity depending on my emotional status on any given particular day. My insecure days yell at me and say, you just might not know how to provide him with the appropriate assignments...........There is no rest for this brain!

He came home with a prize for winning an algebra contest (not sure of the academic merits of the contest). It was a homemade card from his Algebra teacher. It had a picture of his teacher making a silly face with a Jack Handy quote: “Friends are like peeing your pants. Everybody can see you peed your pants but only you feel the warmth." I love this kind of stupid, sick humor.

The math teacher is a believer, grew up a missionaries kid and has a heart for his students. He reminds me of the silly, quirky Young life leaders who revel in dumb jokes, love it! How is he doing in Math? I do not know, he does not bring home his work, remember?!

His Social Studies teacher hangs out with the Math teacher, they are good friends. This history guys is a believer as well. The school is loaded with saints. The stories out of his room, now they make me pee my pants. He is a quirky guy totally equipped to handle the emotional swells of a middle school student.

The language arts teacher, Geoff has suspected, is a christian also. Hey, why not shatter all of the arsenal I have ever used to home school, just make me look like a blathering idiot. Geoff is amazed how much he likes her class.

The art teacher, well, that is what put our foot in the door in the first place...........we know she is a believer and a fantastic art teacher to boot!

He comes home exhausted but he comes home charged, exhilarated. He and I have found our new rhythm. I definitely sense a relief, some room to breath. (for me)

I think I will have him evaluated(for homeschool....purposes) so that next year we are good to go if we continue home schooling. I also need him to finish science and PA History which are required for home school graduation. Both he and I know that it could go either way next year.

Sometimes I want to make sense out of a new direction before it has been allowed to take its course. The analyzing part of me really and truly gets in the way of just simply allowing God to bring insights without me relentlessly pursuing them.

When I think back to the initial week and how weepy, emotional, and edgy I was, I am glad to be on this side of it.

Just to wrap it up, the boy has five classes with four known christian teachers. Hmmmm............

Throwing babies out with bath water happens all the time. This time around we have the baby and not the dirty water................at least I think......

Big Brother to Little Brother

I found this on the kitchen counter the day of Geoff's first day at Twin Valley Middle School. Chris had already left for Kutztown. Chris told Geoff the night before that he was worried for him. Chris said that he would have been destroyed in school. This is what my 21 year old penned to his bro on January 31, 2011.

Geoffrey,

Hey man first and foremost I love you! Today you go to the big building on the hill. Copngrats for somehow drugging mom into letting you go.

You have been told a lot about what not to do when you go there but there
are a few things I need you to remember.

Be you, don't compromise. People love you and for good reason. You are who I look to for spiritual encouragement, you are the kind of strong I want to be.

We are the luckiest of brothers because we share our amazing parents.

Second thing I want you to remember is look to God for your answers, he made us and sure knows how to help us.

Third remember I love you and whatever you need I am always there for you.

But if you had to remember anything at any given moment remember to look to God for your answers.

Love you brother,
-Chris

The Saga.....

I asked Lynn yesterday if he saw this one coming? “No!' he replied. Me neither. Putting Geoffrey in school has created an emotional basket case in one person and a confident one in the other. It is the basket case Lynn did not see coming!

I picked Geoffrey up from the Middle School. It was not a wilting, withering child who had been crushed or not allowed to be himself. I picked up a confident young man. “It's not prison, mom.”

I laughed uncomfortably. This has been what I have jokingly told my children about school (fun joke, aye ?) He really enjoyed his day. Out of the corner of my eye I note his shoulders squared.

We went to Claire's, the local restaurant. As we sat there, alone, in the restaurant, he told me of his day. He loved it. We looked through his work and we talked but there was something different. This was his day without me. This was not making him sad. This was HIS day and it went well.

As we went to bed that night I was hit with another wave of emotion as we chatted again of his day. I blathered on to him ( sobs once more) about making sure he remains who he is. Please Geoffrey do not allow anything to change you. Then I went on about our Learning Group, emphasis on our, but now he will not be there. I went on about the amazing group that it is with teachers who are all concerned about the students ultimately glorifying God. Make sure Geoffrey you listen to God because some of these teachers at the Middle School are not on the same page as we are.

All of a sudden the issue became clear to me. Sometimes it happens in a moment, when you realize what is behind your sadness, or fretting, or maybe happiness. The issue for me is that for all these years his learning, all my children's learning has been a community effort, a family effort, a joint effort. We have learned together.

I have been surrounded by women and men who have journeyed with me on this educational road and it has truly been a village raising a child. The Learning Group that I have been a part of since Robyn was a kindergartener has been my source of encouragement, inspiration, motivation and education for my children and myself. Now one of the group members, Geoffrey, is heading in a different direction, same goal, but a different mode with a different clan.

Where are the women and men to talk with about the education Geoffrey is now receiving. It is now a funny feeling, I was not involved with the curriculum development at the Middle School. I was not involved with the discussion of the ins and outs of what is to be taught. Geoff and I are now accepting on a platter what is offered and it is now up to us to do with it what we want. But, and here is the issue, I am not the cook. I am not involved with the ingredients.

I have known this year that Geoffrey seems like a trapped bird, like a horse in the gate as he wanders. My heart has tugged at me and I have known that there is something that might need to be done. We are are more than likely on the right track with him at the Middle School. But I desperately miss him! Geoffrey is a treasure of a kid and sometimes treasures need to be shared. But I am scared!

Monday night instead of begging me to watch a John Wayne movie with him he told me he needed to go to bed. I understood, I told him. I agreed I nodded to him. As he walked to his room I bawled. The very thing I have been wanting is happening, Geoffrey might be on his way to learn how to focus. I might be getting just what I know the boy needs. So why is this making me so sad? Geoffrey is growing up and letting him go is going to be way harder than I ever imagined!

My Guy!

Today is one unique day for the Burkholder Academy. One of our students is heading off to the Middle School. Geoff and I went to the Middle School on Friday to sign him up for two classes; Animation with Tammy Taylor and World History with Mr. Faro. Little did we know that when we would leave the building we would leave with papers that would enable him to walk back into the school completely enrolled on Monday.

My son, Chris, wonders how Geoffrey drugged me into letting him do this. Geoffrey and I know there were no drugs involved. Geoff decided in that office on Friday that he should just come. This was no easy decision as evidenced by the fact that in the Fall he backed out of that decision two weeks before school started. He had been processing this for a long time.

His older siblings went through this as well. They wanted to go to school for eighth grade. For some reason or other it was decided that home was the best option. Robyn owned her education after a seminar in eighth grade. She realized it was hers to direct and direct she did. She was the child who for instance would read every John Updike book and then answer questions on the internet about him.

Christopher focused on guitar at this age and spent hours practicing. Kathryn began spending more and more time doing art, quilting and what not. Geoff wanders. Geoff is in need of owning his education.

Some of the teachers he has are ones we already have a relationship with and this should make the transition easier. Geoff is one to talk, Geoff is one to wander, Geoff will face the music.

I bawled last night as the three watched me in amazement and howled with laughter at what they described as whale sounds. I will miss Geoffrey for the hours he is away. Geoffrey is a kind son to me. He gets me. We spend hours talking.

If I see one change in this kid's character, if his three older siblings see one change in this kid's character, we are forming a posse and pulling that kid out as quick as you can say Public Education.

However, I have a feeling Geoff is going to find the structure that his random mind needs. I have a feeling that his kindness will be put to good use. I have a feeling that the opportunities will expand his mind.I have a feeling he will learn how to listen in a classroom. I have a feeling he will need to depend on His God.

His God goes with him! And when that bell tolls for school to end, I will be there cause Geoff and I have a date!

Bit of an Interruption During My Pondering of Life

I have been thinking about the essence of life. Dear friends in the past two weeks have had to say a permanent goodbye to their loved ones or they have stood by the hospital bed listening to the doctor give a negative prognosis of their loved one.

Life just stinks. It is full of sickness, sadness, and heartache. We never know what tomorrow will hold.

However, I will enjoy the moments God has given me. I will be content where I am, right now. The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not want. I will follow where He leads me, not where I want to go. I will assume where He leads me is a well thought out plan.

As I am writing, at this very moment, just after I penned the previous paragraph, my son, Geoff, has entered my bedroom with a tray full of breakfast food. These are the moments I will cherish. We are alive, we will eat breakfast, and we will catch a flic on my new netbook!

Just when I was thinking about the essence of life............life shows up!

And for my friends right now who are watching their loved ones suffer, I am asking God for peace, peace that will leave them clueless as to how in the world they could have peace at a time like this. Yet peace that comforts right to their very core!