Schedulesnedule

Fall is here. Clear, humidity-free days, bright sunshine, gorgeous sunsets and my adventurous friend is back in town.

Janet, along with Deb, went to West Chester with me tonight to pick up two tickets for Lynn and I to see the President tomorrow morning. Sacrificial love is what I call that!

Janet and I have traveled many miles together. I love to drive, she loves to navigate (nice way to say “back seat driver). When she was in California she navigated me around West Chester from her lap top computer. That day, though miles separated us, I felt like we were in the same car. Pure fun.

My life would go a lot smoother if I would stick to a schedule. I would say no to the opportunity of hearing the President of the United States because tomorrow is one of those killer days with very little margin. I had to call and make arrangements for three of my children. When I wake up, my feet needed to hit the road running. Lunches, baby bag to pack, children to distribute, food to purchase for the women who are casting this year’s play.

This day is no picnic and I have just begun to list the tasks to be accomplished. I should say "no" to a friend calling, asking if tonight is all right to hang out and then staying to watch the season finale of the “Amazing Race.” It would make more sense to just say no. But I said "yes."

Some people can actually manage a scheduled life and still be flexible. I can’t seem to swing that. I would rather go to bed with a messy house, exhausted from good fellowship and enduring memories.

One thing makes my life go smooth and only one thing. It is this…waking up at a decent time and crying out to God, “HELP!” Lately I feel at the end of myself. My resources have long been used up. My natural good nature has run dry. My six children have given me a clear mirror to look into and it’s not pretty. This woman is in need, we’re talking bankrupt.

I know this is the “sweet place.” This is the place where Jesus smiles and shines. Lynne is gone ‘cause she can’t keep up and Jesus takes over. Why do we try to clean up to come to Him? Our soap is just rank. There is nothing that we can use to clean us up. It is only Jesus who can do the clean job. It is only Him that can take my conscience and make it clean.

The thought that has captivated me these past couple of days is this: This is the “now” when my children need me. This is the time to snuggle, to talk, to listen, and to give, and to be. This is the easy time. If I don’t do it now, this time will face me again and I will have to look at it with regrets that will last a lifetime. The damage takes more work in the cleaning up than the preventative sacrificial love of now. Putting aside what I want to do to be with my children is like a good low risk investment.

Going to bed early with teenagers in the house is like sticking my head in the sand. They talk at night. Why? I don’t get it. But I'd better be losing some sleep over this because there will come a time when I will be able to sleep endlessly. At that time I want to enjoy it rather than be hounded by regretful memories.