Children Taking Over- Love It!

The renovation of Lynn and Lynne undertaken by the children of Lynn and Lynne is happening as I write. The drone of the sander on the “Viewing Room” floor (ok, televison room! But I hate the sound of that) is the best sound ever. Kathryn our third child has had it and is taking things under control. Enough is enough she feels.

Unfortunately, Lynn and I are able to live with half done projects, stellar, aye? I remember well visiting a certain relative whose house was NEVER finished. My parents would comment on the drive home. I can only imagine the talking all the way back to Rhode Island after a visit with their daughter.

Our daughters pulled together a 25th celebration asking for Lowe's gift cards with this day in mind. What a wonderful gift! Kathryn is the project manager with advisers to her left and to her right. Her Christmas break has been breaking her back for her family. It is the gift of a lifetime.

Here are some pictures showing the process. The young man on the piano is Tyler Patchel who helped with removing stubborn kitchen tile. The young woman is Katie Schwartz who gave some significant hours to the project. Christopher, our son is working on cutting down shelves for the new spot in the Viewing Room ( I do like the sound of that)!

My biggest fear is that I will wake up!

Hopes, Dreams and Wants for 2012

This has to be one of my favorite times of the year, the week between Christmas and New Years. It is for me contemplative, reflective, full of promise and is the sunlight not exquisite?

During this week, every year, I think back over the past year and think about what I want to do different this year. I will give you a peek into my hopes ,dreams and wants for the year 2012.

I want, hope and dream that:
-every day is appreciated for the privilege of living it. (this shows up in every single journal I have ever written-I am a broken record)
-I will actually harvest all that I grow and not think that gardening is just planting.
-I will be more active physically (I find myself more sedantary of late)
-I will read through the Bible again with the Halley method (Week one-Gen, Week Two-Matthew, Week three- Exodus, Week Four-Mark etc.)
-I will surround myself with more diversity than less.
-I will continue to break out of the ordinary
-I will run through the paper dragons in my life.
-I will be better with Thank you notes (oh,this really can get me down)
-I will put myself out on more limbs than not.
-I will not rest content with fake contentment.
-I will watch more movies.
-I will do the perfect picnic this year in the perfect place at the perfect time.
-I will listen better to God's direction
-I will follow closer to God's lead
-The body of Christ will experience unity in the area in which I live
-my children hear God's voice clearer.
-I will depend on God for everything, everything
-I will have nothing to do with idolatry
-I will have eternity on my mind at all times.
-I will keep my house clutter free.
-I do the spontaneous with my children consistently
-I make more festivals for our family
-Valentine's Day is celebrated with more alacrity than ever in our family.
-that Lynn and I can have time just for ourselves (this is so hard because we LOVE being with all of our children, but I do want to get to Italy to see
Erin and Peter and Henry and Sadie)
- that all our children understand the significance of small events and time spent with dear ones
-our children see church as it really is
-God continues to connect me with people who vision big
-I can focus and not be distracted by distractions
-our five businesses flourish so that others may benefit greatly
-all our bills are paid and house paid off to give God the glory.
-that those we are surrounded by understand the need to glorify God in unity.
-that I see more and more of Him
-that I can organize my thoughts to write at least one book.
- I have more mercy for others than not
-that I desire to stand corrected and not get defensive
-that I teach my children well.

Hey, when you think, of it would you pray for me and my family. We would appreciate that! May your year be filled with unexpected moments where you simply relish His presence and His amazing ability to love you despite you!

If You Don't Know Me Yet- You Might Want To Keep it That Way-Might Be Safer For You!

If you do not know me, now is probably not the time to get to know me. I am in a bad way. It is not that I am changing, it is that I am feeling freer to share my true feelings. I have always been opionated but of late it is as if I am urged, pushed, persuaded to share freely and openly. However, there is really nothing new going on in my brain but rather a more firm resolve.

In fact I marvel at the consistency of my thoughts that have traveled with me, cognitively, for over forty years. Some of you may be chuckling if you know me. “Lynne, consistent? Ha! That will be the day.” I get this backlash from sharing my stream of consciousness. I would not suggest this modus operandi which I have operated in during my entire life.

Babies do this well, the stream of consciousness. They scream, cry, coo for exactly that moment, knowing exactly what they want. Others might be confused but babies are not confused just misunderstood. My husband pointed out to me this tendency of mine, my inordinate amount of words and spilling of my feelings on the spot. This helped me to understand the source of all the ammo coming at me from acquaintances, friends and family. It all spirals back to me, me, me! Sometimes I want to yell, “DO YOU NOT CHANGE????? OR ARE YOU JUST TOO SCARED TO GIVE ME YOUR CONSTANT CHANGING THOUGHTS???? WHY DON'T YOU GIVE IT A TRY AND WATCH ME ALLOW YOU TO CHANGE YOUR MIND!”

As a little girl I could not understand the lack of honesty from adults. I watched adults pretend and was puzzled by this. Why pretend? Are we not all in this together? Why the need to make others think differently about your situation, your background, or you? Guess what? I still do not get it! Again, my husband has navigated me through this quandry and has helped me tremendously with understanding decorum, the good kind. Though I do want to yell, “WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOUR SECRET? DO YOU THINK I WILL LIKE YOU LESS? I WILL ALWAYS LIKE YOU MORE WHEN YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH!!!!”

And why are we so secretive about our incomes? As a child I never understood that. What was the pressing need behind this? Again, are we not all in this together? Well, though we are all in this together (especially the Body of Christ) apparently that reality is not necessarily recognized. I tell people all the time we are financially hand to mouth. This is definitely, by some, not received without a tense, constipated pity face. I want to scream, “I AM NOT THE SOURCE OF THE INCOME, YOU ARE NOT THE SOURCE OF YOUR INCOME. WE ARE TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE. THIS IS NOT MY SOURCE OF SECURITY!!!!!” Thank goodness my income is not a source of my security, I would be sunk.

Well, I better stop. I am just working myself up into a blithering, blubbering Critical-Clara-Chick, and who likes them type of folks? My life has been one of restraint. I do think on my toes and this gets me into tons of trouble and most of what I do is try keep in all the thoughts. You are incredulous with that last statement, for those who know me,. “Lynne, keeps in thoughts? Really?!” Now that ticks me off and makes me howl, “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HOLD IN. BUT WHY DON'T YOU START SHARING HONESTLY WITH ME AND WE CAN GET IT ALL WORKED OUT !

So, these days, of late, are just bare, raw, sharp, and sometimes downright dangerous for you to be around me. That is if you like pretense, facades, the psuedo christian life, seminars, church programs, maintaining “the look,” and not asking God to lead you.
Otherwise, I am game for hanging with you and even debating issues. Nearing fifty has given me a sense of boldness, what the heck, it should. I have lived half a century, it is time!

UnFinished Projects- Back Off!

It has been too long since I have posted on this blog site. Who started this site anyway? There are so many things in my life that I have started and clearly not finished. Some of the unfinished projects are exactly as they should be, for instance, my life.

My life started on May 8, 1962 and I am not near completing it. In fact I have a goal of 120 years,though I am not in control of the timing and one never knows. However,it is amazing to think that almost fifty of those years have been completed. But my life is not mine to complete. There is an author and a finisher of my life/faith and I am not it.

There are some other projects that are still in the works- my children.

All of my children are still in process. All six of them are uncompleted projects. Their life mysteriously was not started with me and mysteriously will not be finished by me. The urge to finish a project needs to be rejected when it comes to people. I can assist in the project but I am not the project manager, the finisher.

Do we think about this enough? Do we shudder at the thought of our urge to finish “people projects?” Do we respect even our own children knowing that they are managed by a project manager more concerned with their finished result than we would be? We are to pray for their development, to assist the manager, to respect their project, to be side-liners with a sense of awe.

I need to back off from the unfinished projects surrounding my life.

What to do?

News From Around The World

I decided to post (with the permission of the writer)an email sent by a friend to her friends. I am honored to be one of them. If ever I could be anyone else I would choose this person. She rocks. She and her husband are teaching in a foreign land. They are not missionaries by title, and that is what I think is so awesome. They do not need the title.

As we read the news our minds our swirling and wondering what the implications will be for Egypt, Libyia, Tunisia etc. So I am posting her reflections, insider scoop. For those of you who know me well, you will know who is writing.

Hi everyone!

It was time for my yearly trek to the Malaysian jungle with 70 eighth
graders. This year I went to a different location and thoroughly
enjoyed the life on a jungle island. The group of kids I was with was
amazing. They took every opportunity to fully experience all the
jungle had to offer, from food to bugs. I even got a chance to brush
off my blow-dart skills. We were aiming at a large fruit hanging from
a long stem and I hit the stem! My students thought it was amazing
but it was pure luck.

Since I’ve been back, we have watched a wave of revolution in the
region. One of the students on our trip was from Tunisia and she was
so excited about the freedom beginning in her country. Others in our
school are from Egypt and again, they can’t even believe that they
have the right to say what they really feel. We are all hoping that
this region will birth its own true democracy, one of freedom AND
justice. There is a long way to go. What is unusual about Qatar is
that, even though it is a monarchy, it has low corruption
(comparatively speaking) and the most freedom of the press in the
region. The network Al Jazeera is based here in Doha and has been
covering every gritty detail of all the protests, which has earned it
the right to be banned by most of the vulnerable countries.

Because Egypt is getting itself together, E. and K. are running
cross-country races in Abu Dhabi this weekend instead of Cairo.
H. and S. are in Kuwait for baseball, so hopefully everything
will stay calm there. It sounds crazy, but probably no worse than
having an event planned in Madison, Wisconsin this weekend. (Just
kidding).

My apologies to my friends who support teachers’ unions, but I wanted
to go to Madison with a video camera in one hand and a sign that
reads, “I’m a great teacher and I don’t need a union” in the other. I
know that there once was a need for unions, but after sitting on a
school board with my hands tied by the teachers unions, I just cannot
support them. Our best teachers could not even get the same raises as
the mediocre teachers if the union wanted to “reward” a certain age
group. Most teachers don’t know that the unions are the ones who
divide up the raises, not the school board or administration. If the
union wanted, they could give 10% raises to one group and 1% to
another, arbitrarily. Now our district is furloughing teachers, not
based on their performance, but based on being the most recent hires.
In other words, we have to let go of some of our best teachers. How
is that fair? Whatever happened to the steel industry in Pittsburgh
and the auto industry in Detroit? Seems to me that if there was ever
a test of the effectiveness of unions on the economy, Detroit should
be the poster child for greatness.

Okay, I know you want me to stop beating around the bush and tell you
how I really feel. Sorry about that. I can’t help it.


Thanks for reading and keep me posted on your happenings anytime!!!

Take care,

R.

Geoff's Adventure

Some of you following the new adventure that Geoff is on might be interested in the news from the Twin Valley Scene.

I don't know, would you worry if he was telling you he did not need to bring home his backpack because he finished his work at school? :|
I'm just saying it is a tad unnerving. This kid comes home whistling dixie. He can not believe how much easier it is compared to the assignments I give him. This either makes me swell with pride or insecurity depending on my emotional status on any given particular day. My insecure days yell at me and say, you just might not know how to provide him with the appropriate assignments...........There is no rest for this brain!

He came home with a prize for winning an algebra contest (not sure of the academic merits of the contest). It was a homemade card from his Algebra teacher. It had a picture of his teacher making a silly face with a Jack Handy quote: “Friends are like peeing your pants. Everybody can see you peed your pants but only you feel the warmth." I love this kind of stupid, sick humor.

The math teacher is a believer, grew up a missionaries kid and has a heart for his students. He reminds me of the silly, quirky Young life leaders who revel in dumb jokes, love it! How is he doing in Math? I do not know, he does not bring home his work, remember?!

His Social Studies teacher hangs out with the Math teacher, they are good friends. This history guys is a believer as well. The school is loaded with saints. The stories out of his room, now they make me pee my pants. He is a quirky guy totally equipped to handle the emotional swells of a middle school student.

The language arts teacher, Geoff has suspected, is a christian also. Hey, why not shatter all of the arsenal I have ever used to home school, just make me look like a blathering idiot. Geoff is amazed how much he likes her class.

The art teacher, well, that is what put our foot in the door in the first place...........we know she is a believer and a fantastic art teacher to boot!

He comes home exhausted but he comes home charged, exhilarated. He and I have found our new rhythm. I definitely sense a relief, some room to breath. (for me)

I think I will have him evaluated(for homeschool....purposes) so that next year we are good to go if we continue home schooling. I also need him to finish science and PA History which are required for home school graduation. Both he and I know that it could go either way next year.

Sometimes I want to make sense out of a new direction before it has been allowed to take its course. The analyzing part of me really and truly gets in the way of just simply allowing God to bring insights without me relentlessly pursuing them.

When I think back to the initial week and how weepy, emotional, and edgy I was, I am glad to be on this side of it.

Just to wrap it up, the boy has five classes with four known christian teachers. Hmmmm............

Throwing babies out with bath water happens all the time. This time around we have the baby and not the dirty water................at least I think......

Big Brother to Little Brother

I found this on the kitchen counter the day of Geoff's first day at Twin Valley Middle School. Chris had already left for Kutztown. Chris told Geoff the night before that he was worried for him. Chris said that he would have been destroyed in school. This is what my 21 year old penned to his bro on January 31, 2011.

Geoffrey,

Hey man first and foremost I love you! Today you go to the big building on the hill. Copngrats for somehow drugging mom into letting you go.

You have been told a lot about what not to do when you go there but there
are a few things I need you to remember.

Be you, don't compromise. People love you and for good reason. You are who I look to for spiritual encouragement, you are the kind of strong I want to be.

We are the luckiest of brothers because we share our amazing parents.

Second thing I want you to remember is look to God for your answers, he made us and sure knows how to help us.

Third remember I love you and whatever you need I am always there for you.

But if you had to remember anything at any given moment remember to look to God for your answers.

Love you brother,
-Chris

The Saga.....

I asked Lynn yesterday if he saw this one coming? “No!' he replied. Me neither. Putting Geoffrey in school has created an emotional basket case in one person and a confident one in the other. It is the basket case Lynn did not see coming!

I picked Geoffrey up from the Middle School. It was not a wilting, withering child who had been crushed or not allowed to be himself. I picked up a confident young man. “It's not prison, mom.”

I laughed uncomfortably. This has been what I have jokingly told my children about school (fun joke, aye ?) He really enjoyed his day. Out of the corner of my eye I note his shoulders squared.

We went to Claire's, the local restaurant. As we sat there, alone, in the restaurant, he told me of his day. He loved it. We looked through his work and we talked but there was something different. This was his day without me. This was not making him sad. This was HIS day and it went well.

As we went to bed that night I was hit with another wave of emotion as we chatted again of his day. I blathered on to him ( sobs once more) about making sure he remains who he is. Please Geoffrey do not allow anything to change you. Then I went on about our Learning Group, emphasis on our, but now he will not be there. I went on about the amazing group that it is with teachers who are all concerned about the students ultimately glorifying God. Make sure Geoffrey you listen to God because some of these teachers at the Middle School are not on the same page as we are.

All of a sudden the issue became clear to me. Sometimes it happens in a moment, when you realize what is behind your sadness, or fretting, or maybe happiness. The issue for me is that for all these years his learning, all my children's learning has been a community effort, a family effort, a joint effort. We have learned together.

I have been surrounded by women and men who have journeyed with me on this educational road and it has truly been a village raising a child. The Learning Group that I have been a part of since Robyn was a kindergartener has been my source of encouragement, inspiration, motivation and education for my children and myself. Now one of the group members, Geoffrey, is heading in a different direction, same goal, but a different mode with a different clan.

Where are the women and men to talk with about the education Geoffrey is now receiving. It is now a funny feeling, I was not involved with the curriculum development at the Middle School. I was not involved with the discussion of the ins and outs of what is to be taught. Geoff and I are now accepting on a platter what is offered and it is now up to us to do with it what we want. But, and here is the issue, I am not the cook. I am not involved with the ingredients.

I have known this year that Geoffrey seems like a trapped bird, like a horse in the gate as he wanders. My heart has tugged at me and I have known that there is something that might need to be done. We are are more than likely on the right track with him at the Middle School. But I desperately miss him! Geoffrey is a treasure of a kid and sometimes treasures need to be shared. But I am scared!

Monday night instead of begging me to watch a John Wayne movie with him he told me he needed to go to bed. I understood, I told him. I agreed I nodded to him. As he walked to his room I bawled. The very thing I have been wanting is happening, Geoffrey might be on his way to learn how to focus. I might be getting just what I know the boy needs. So why is this making me so sad? Geoffrey is growing up and letting him go is going to be way harder than I ever imagined!

My Guy!

Today is one unique day for the Burkholder Academy. One of our students is heading off to the Middle School. Geoff and I went to the Middle School on Friday to sign him up for two classes; Animation with Tammy Taylor and World History with Mr. Faro. Little did we know that when we would leave the building we would leave with papers that would enable him to walk back into the school completely enrolled on Monday.

My son, Chris, wonders how Geoffrey drugged me into letting him do this. Geoffrey and I know there were no drugs involved. Geoff decided in that office on Friday that he should just come. This was no easy decision as evidenced by the fact that in the Fall he backed out of that decision two weeks before school started. He had been processing this for a long time.

His older siblings went through this as well. They wanted to go to school for eighth grade. For some reason or other it was decided that home was the best option. Robyn owned her education after a seminar in eighth grade. She realized it was hers to direct and direct she did. She was the child who for instance would read every John Updike book and then answer questions on the internet about him.

Christopher focused on guitar at this age and spent hours practicing. Kathryn began spending more and more time doing art, quilting and what not. Geoff wanders. Geoff is in need of owning his education.

Some of the teachers he has are ones we already have a relationship with and this should make the transition easier. Geoff is one to talk, Geoff is one to wander, Geoff will face the music.

I bawled last night as the three watched me in amazement and howled with laughter at what they described as whale sounds. I will miss Geoffrey for the hours he is away. Geoffrey is a kind son to me. He gets me. We spend hours talking.

If I see one change in this kid's character, if his three older siblings see one change in this kid's character, we are forming a posse and pulling that kid out as quick as you can say Public Education.

However, I have a feeling Geoff is going to find the structure that his random mind needs. I have a feeling that his kindness will be put to good use. I have a feeling that the opportunities will expand his mind.I have a feeling he will learn how to listen in a classroom. I have a feeling he will need to depend on His God.

His God goes with him! And when that bell tolls for school to end, I will be there cause Geoff and I have a date!

Bit of an Interruption During My Pondering of Life

I have been thinking about the essence of life. Dear friends in the past two weeks have had to say a permanent goodbye to their loved ones or they have stood by the hospital bed listening to the doctor give a negative prognosis of their loved one.

Life just stinks. It is full of sickness, sadness, and heartache. We never know what tomorrow will hold.

However, I will enjoy the moments God has given me. I will be content where I am, right now. The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not want. I will follow where He leads me, not where I want to go. I will assume where He leads me is a well thought out plan.

As I am writing, at this very moment, just after I penned the previous paragraph, my son, Geoff, has entered my bedroom with a tray full of breakfast food. These are the moments I will cherish. We are alive, we will eat breakfast, and we will catch a flic on my new netbook!

Just when I was thinking about the essence of life............life shows up!

And for my friends right now who are watching their loved ones suffer, I am asking God for peace, peace that will leave them clueless as to how in the world they could have peace at a time like this. Yet peace that comforts right to their very core!

These gals

These three women are treasures. When they breeze into town I never know what it will look like, I just know it will look like something. Either I have them over for dinner or tea or they have our family over for a bonfire, or should I say field fire!

I have watched them grow since their teenage days and the youngest since a toddler. I love them all and their mother I dearly love. This Monday I had the priviledge of having my dear friend and her three daughters over for tea.

They had just experienced a "sisters" weekend and I was so happy to be their last hoorah!For twenty two years I have known their mom and that is a story in and of itself. Suffice it to say it was God ordained to meet Linda two weeks before I gave birth to my first child.

I have never met a more intentional mother in all my life. These three sisters and their two brothers are fortunate. I had the extraordinary experience of hearing much of their mother's dealings with them as children. Oh, the mothering stuff I learned! To Linda I am forever grateful.

I do not take for granted my relationship to the entire family. Their Dad is the best. They even have two sister in laws that are so intriguing, I wish I had more time with them.

Relationships are so worth it!

John Wayne

Geoffrey, Jesse and myself have been enjoying John Wayne films. They are slow, corny humor at times, outdated methods of dying (they thrust forward when shot instead of falling back),but the themes they tackle give you food for thought!

They however are not politically correct and this for me is one of their finer points. Last night we watched McClintock and it was hilarious. Geoff and I think it is our favorite so far.

I am interested in learning more about John Wayne and what perhaps motivated him. For now it is fun to anticipate the next flic!

Let Your Domicile Persuade You to Be Real

"Homes are notoriously materialistic in that they only seduce human inhabitants as a means to acquire more furniture, cars, and jewelry. Submit to the whims of a persuasive domicile with today's Groupon....."

Well now, don't sugar coat it. That is an interesting way to get someone to come out of their house on a cold winter's day to indulge in some more materialism. I had to read it not just twice but four or five times. This was a Groupon advertisement that found its way to my email in box. Hopefully the advertiser has a better view of his home than he has expressed here.

However, homes do not have to be the catalyst for materialism. A home can be the catalyst for good conversations, good times together, laughs that ring through time, and darn good food.

I will never forget an auction I was at in a down pour. All the family's possessions were soaked on the lawn ready to be auctioned. All the spending to come to this end.

In our backyard there have been more celebrations and reasons for gathering than you could count on the fingers of both your hands. All you need is a blanket, a few rickety lawn chairs or maybe even a log?!

Our domicile persuades us to be real, not materialistic, to be creative not just boring consumers. Our domicile provides a sanctuary for our thoughts, our ways, our person-hood.

Edith Schaeffer has much to share on this topic, more from her later. I need to find her book and then I will share some of her needed insights.

For now, Groupon, I will be trying to stay warm in this cold breezy home filled with warm bodies and great couches acquired either from a yard sale or the generosity of a neighbor. I will wait till someone satisfies their material desire and acquires a home necessity and then loses interest in it and sells it for cheap, really cheap. That is when you will see me show up.

My domicile persuades us to be real.

The Mind

I live in my mind. I think too much. I need to be more active than I am, I need to just do sometimes. And most of all I need to get perspective!

My mind is a wonderful place. My mind is a scary place. My mind is a creative place. My mind is a destructive place. It is in my mind that within one second I can go from seeing the world as a gloomy place to seeing the world as a cheery place.

Lynn came in yesterday and relayed to me that he was fighting for perspective amongst the circumstances. It bothered me, it brought me down. I can be in turmoil but, please no one else. Everyone else must stand strong. If you do not feel strong, keep me happy and lie.

In that instant Lynn shared, my mind spiraled down. The circumstances all lined up sneering at me,laughing and mocking me. Until, until, I turned on the circumstances. Whose laughing now??

Circumstances are not dictators like they think they are. Circumstances are nothing like perspective, they are just circumstances. Circumstances can not lend me a hand, only perspective has that power.

Perspective lines up circumstances as fast as circumstances scrambles perspective. Perspective keeps circumstances under control with more force than circumstances can keep perspective from gaining control.

Our minds have the God given ability to allow perspective to take the upper hand with our circumstances. It is that God given ability I am ever grateful for, the big view, the arch, the umbrella that forces the rain to find another path.

Winter, I fear is the time most often that circumstances come to taunt. Reliance on the power of perspective is needed most on these days when fresh air, exercise, and clear skies,perspective's friends, are harder to find.

Super Woman!

I am and you are too! I am super woman. I successfully navigated through another Christmas season. I am high fiving all my friends, "We did it!" "Done!"
I hate the way we find ways to brag these days. Facebook allows us to do it and we think, discreetly! Sorry, not so, it still boils down to bragging.

Guess what, I am indiscreetly, unashamedly bragging! I am super woman! Here is why! I came through this holiday season with memories to last a lifetime, accomplishments that just keep giving and relationships in tack.

Do you know why I can brag???? Because it is all due to the strength and energy of Jesus Christ who chose to be vulnerable and die so that I might be strong and live! I am super woman because He made me so!

Amen to that! The victorious Christian Life! Are you living it? If not, ask yourself why!