The Saga.....

I asked Lynn yesterday if he saw this one coming? “No!' he replied. Me neither. Putting Geoffrey in school has created an emotional basket case in one person and a confident one in the other. It is the basket case Lynn did not see coming!

I picked Geoffrey up from the Middle School. It was not a wilting, withering child who had been crushed or not allowed to be himself. I picked up a confident young man. “It's not prison, mom.”

I laughed uncomfortably. This has been what I have jokingly told my children about school (fun joke, aye ?) He really enjoyed his day. Out of the corner of my eye I note his shoulders squared.

We went to Claire's, the local restaurant. As we sat there, alone, in the restaurant, he told me of his day. He loved it. We looked through his work and we talked but there was something different. This was his day without me. This was not making him sad. This was HIS day and it went well.

As we went to bed that night I was hit with another wave of emotion as we chatted again of his day. I blathered on to him ( sobs once more) about making sure he remains who he is. Please Geoffrey do not allow anything to change you. Then I went on about our Learning Group, emphasis on our, but now he will not be there. I went on about the amazing group that it is with teachers who are all concerned about the students ultimately glorifying God. Make sure Geoffrey you listen to God because some of these teachers at the Middle School are not on the same page as we are.

All of a sudden the issue became clear to me. Sometimes it happens in a moment, when you realize what is behind your sadness, or fretting, or maybe happiness. The issue for me is that for all these years his learning, all my children's learning has been a community effort, a family effort, a joint effort. We have learned together.

I have been surrounded by women and men who have journeyed with me on this educational road and it has truly been a village raising a child. The Learning Group that I have been a part of since Robyn was a kindergartener has been my source of encouragement, inspiration, motivation and education for my children and myself. Now one of the group members, Geoffrey, is heading in a different direction, same goal, but a different mode with a different clan.

Where are the women and men to talk with about the education Geoffrey is now receiving. It is now a funny feeling, I was not involved with the curriculum development at the Middle School. I was not involved with the discussion of the ins and outs of what is to be taught. Geoff and I are now accepting on a platter what is offered and it is now up to us to do with it what we want. But, and here is the issue, I am not the cook. I am not involved with the ingredients.

I have known this year that Geoffrey seems like a trapped bird, like a horse in the gate as he wanders. My heart has tugged at me and I have known that there is something that might need to be done. We are are more than likely on the right track with him at the Middle School. But I desperately miss him! Geoffrey is a treasure of a kid and sometimes treasures need to be shared. But I am scared!

Monday night instead of begging me to watch a John Wayne movie with him he told me he needed to go to bed. I understood, I told him. I agreed I nodded to him. As he walked to his room I bawled. The very thing I have been wanting is happening, Geoffrey might be on his way to learn how to focus. I might be getting just what I know the boy needs. So why is this making me so sad? Geoffrey is growing up and letting him go is going to be way harder than I ever imagined!